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thank you for rating! Climbing Toward Trust

Not many people take up an extreme sport like rock climbing at my age, but I believe that no matter what your age, trying new activities always results in new gifts. So now, I run laps up walls and sticky granite.

For me, the biggest gift that rock climbing has provided - besides becoming totally ripped -  is learning to trust. This includes trusting life, belay partners, and myself. When your life literally depends on the skills and attention and care at the other end of the rope, there just ain't no room for bull.

From the first class at the training gym, I began to understand that the relationships formed in this community would be different. In rock climbing, there is always an atmosphere of support and encouragement and vitality. Rock climbers range from age 3 to 75, but everyone shares the same addiction to the challenges of climbing. Safety is job one. You always check and doublecheck how you are tied into your harness, and how your partner is locked in as well.

Trust begins on the ground. It develops as you express what you like about being belayed (The person on the ground feeds you the rope, giving slack where needed and keeping you tight so that if you fall, you don't fall far.), asking for help, or whooping for joy. When you climb outdoors, where routes and bouldering are infinitely harder than the gym's color-coded routes and preset holds, personal stories evaporate as you come face-to-face with the elements.

Trust is an issue that I've continually dealt with since I learned about my late husband's affairs and other indiscretions. For years, I lost my trust that life was beneficent, that men were reliable and honest, and that I was worthy of my heart's desire. 

Climbing has changed all of that. I recently had my first outdoor climbing adventure - five days at the surreal Joshua Tree National Park in Southern California. Braving the elements and a winter chill, I was amazed at how quickly caring relationships formed, and how the bonding between couples is more authentic than I've ever witnessed.

I was able to accomplish climbs far beyond my perceived ability level because of group energy: Climbing with a group, you overcome your self-limiting beliefs because the group supports you and brings you along. You do your own work, to be sure, but the group's belief that you can achieve more than you think possible gets you to the top. You trust each person there with your life. You trust the rock to support and to guide you, even when there are no clear holds for fingers or feet. You trust your instincts and your intuition and your technique to get you up a sheer 100-foot granite slab - and down again. You trust that those endorphins are giving you the thrill of a lifetime.

Trust is something that develops when the mind chatter shuts down and you are in direct relationship with what life brings you. Trust means that you have cleared away the ego's fears and deal only with what my climbing buddy Mara calls "reasonable fears." They're the ones that keep you alive and safe. All of the rest is nonessential. Trust means that you stop resisting and start allowing life as it is.

Climbing is teaching me to trust that life is beautiful, generous, rich and enigmatic. When I climb I am fully myself, radiantly happy, and at one with the present moment. That is a trust I'm cultivating in all of my relationships, both on and offline, and it's carrying me into a new year with a new attitude and new musculature. Life is worth trusting. When we let go, the power inherent in being open to life flows in magnificently. We don't have to do anything but show up.

Beth Witrogen (www.witrogen.com), a double Pulitzer Prize nominated writer, was most recently recognized for her book, "Caregiving: The Spiritual Journey of Love, Loss, and Renewal," a uniquely inspired blend of advice based on personal growth and spiritually profound wisdom. A former newspaper journalist, she has written for magazines including Good Housekeeping, Self, and Family Circle and online sites such as WebMD, Consumer Health Interactive, and ThirdAge.com. She is currently at work on a book about women's renewal and sexuality at midlife. Ms. Witrogen resides in Northern California, and pursues her other passion as a professional photographer (www.witrogenphoto.com) and rock climbing. Send your questions to Beth@smartnow.com.