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It's All About How You Feel Wearing the Clothes



January is the time where we all set new goals for ourselves as if on December 31st, at  the stroke of midnight, the slate is magically wiped clean to begin again fresh and new. There really is something encouraging about the feelings that each new year brings.

The word makeover is synonymous with thoughts of the New Year and invariably, we will think about our clothing and style. This makes perfect sense. We are all familiar with overused sayings such as: "You've got to look the part to play the part," or "Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have," and "Dress for success." Whether to get a new job, a promotion, a new love life, a new lease on life, weight loss, more happiness, more peacefulness, or more productiveness, your wardrobe and style are important factors in whether or not you will achieve what you are set out to do this year. In fact, did you know that the No.1 way we are perceived and judged by others is through our non-verbal communication? Non-verbal communication includes image (which includes wardrobe and style) and body language. 

However, aligning your outer appearance with your inner goals isn't just about wearing the right clothes to impress your boss to get the promotion, or hoping that the low cut, attractive top will finally grab the attention of the cute guy who you ran into at the bookstore. No, altering your style isn't just about changing how others perceive you, but about how your perceive yourself. As I always say, if you don't feel it, nobody else will. 

The truth is that you can put on the most fantastic suit to look like promotion material, but if you don't feel like you are promotion material then all you will be is a woman wearing a fantastic suit. Or, if you get a date with a guy you think is dreamy, put on something slinky that you think he will be impressed by, yet feel  uncomfortable wearing it, do you really think you are going to have a comfortable date? Doubtful. 

This may seem obvious but it's worth stating: Others perceive you not necessarily based on what you wear, but how you feel when you wear it.

Thinking from this perspective changes the way we dress and what we wear. We suddenly stop thinking about what we should be wearing, what's trendy or what's going  to impress others. We start thinking about impressing ourselves, and more importantly how we feel when we put something on. We start considering the energy we are putting out, and therefore attracting back, instead of worrying if what we are wearing will get us something in return. What we wear resonates the way we feel and what we want to accomplish or attain. 

So how do we do this?  The good news is that it is pretty simple.

  • To start, instead of thinking solely about what you want to accomplish this year, think about what would it feel like to do so. Use your imagination: How does a woman who has found the love of her life feel and carry herself in her life? What does a powerful woman, with a job she enjoys, look and feel like to you? This is the energy you want to feel when you get dressed. The goal is to find wardrobe items that make you feel this way when you put them on. If you put something on and think, "Damn, I feel hot," or "Wow, this suit makes me feel strong," then you've got something there.
  • Next, think about how you want to be perceived by others. Perhaps come up with three buzz words like: Approachable, Fun and Powerful. Then every time you get dressed ask yourself, "Do I feel approachable, fun and/or powerful in what I am wearing?" If you answer no, take it off. I mean what's the point? If you don't feel good in it, why would you want to wear it?
  • Pay close attention to your body language. I have watched hundreds of clients change their body language before my eyes in the dressing room the second they put something on that feels good to wear. This is seriously the best litmus test you can give yourself. If you don't think you are a good judge of your own character, take a friend shopping and have her identify when you put something on and your body language changes for the better. Sometimes the shift is so subtle, like a change in stance, or a more confident walk. Watch for these signs.

By choosing to dress in a way that echoes the person who achieves what you want, instead of becoming a pursuer of a goal, you inhabit and live these changes, now.    You don't just look the part, you are the part.   

I wish you all a happy, prosperous and healthy 2009!

Style expert Bridgette Raes is the author of "Style Rx: Dressing the Body You Have to Create the Body You Want."  Raes, a former fashion designer, is the founder and president of Bridgette Raes Style Group, a Manhattan-based image and style consulting company for women. In addition to her work on SmartNow.com, Bridgette writes for Budget Savvy Magazine and Brideboard.com. She is featured in a number of newspapers and magazines such as Woman's World Magazine and The Boston Globe, and appeared on CNN, and "Good Morning America." Send your questions to Bridgette@smartnow.com.


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